Sarah's Site

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1. In a separate ePortfolio post, answer the following question: In what specific ways does Serhan & McLaughlin’s essay connect with concepts/ideas from our previous prompt readings (Konnikova, Chen, Bloom, and DFW)? Be as specific as possible, and answer in a couple of well-developed paragraphs. Use at least two quotes (framed, of course) from the Serhan/McLaughlin essay as part of your response. Title post “Text to Text Connections.”

Serhan and Mclaughlin’s article is able to connect back to really all of the prior articles we have read for our past essays. Serhan and Mclaughlins article discuss the xenophobia towards the asian population, in relation to the Covid-19 pandemic. We are able to read direct quotes from people who were negatively affected by the prejudice that virus brought with it.  Within Adrian’s Chen’s article, “Unfollow”, the reader can immediately see the hatred, discrimination, and prejude that the baptist church projects through pickets and online tweets. Chen writes, “‘eventually, the targets broadened such that everyone was the target” (Chen 6). In other words, anyone who wasn’t a part of the baptist church was considered a target. This can be related back to the discrimation on people of color, because in Megan Phelps roper’s eyes, they were different from her. She and the church considered them to be inferior.

Again we are able to connect Serhan and Mclaughlin’s article back to former writer David Foster Wallace and his speech, “This is Water”. As he addresses the concept of rewiring your own thinking to be aware and sympathetic of others we can use what Wallace says in our lives today. Wallace writes, “learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think” (Wallace 3). What Wallace is trying to say is that we have the capability of controlling how and what we think, all it takes is practice. On this note, what Wallace preaches becomes crucial with the ongoing xenophobia of the asian population. This is because we choose what to think. People are choosing to discriminate and show prejudice to people of color which in no way shape or form is okay.

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What is xenophobia? How does the term relate to the Covid-19 pandemic and the various decisions countries have made in dealing with the virus’s spread?
Xenophobia is the fear which is usually associated with hatred of people and things that are unfamiliar or strange. This usually refers to people who are from different and forein countries. Throughout the pandemic countries enforced travel bans and restrictions to try to slow the spread of this very contagious virus. Though with the virus and its place of origin this led many people to fear asian countries, especially asian americans.
In what ways does fear factor into the personal accounts and political decision making that Serhan and McLaughlin report on?
In a way fear played a huge factor throughout this pandemic and millions of people became hospitalized and many of the millions would die. People began to live and fear and only think about themselves and would then continue but with xenophobia so many people felt and experienced.
How does Serhan & McLaughlin’s journalistic piece relate to Cadogan’s first-person narrative?
I think this article can relate back to the Cadogans piece on the main topic of discimiation. Pedjude affects all people of color, and both articles bring in new, different perspectives of how they are treated in today’s society.
What are your thoughts on travel bans (in the context of the Covid-19 pandemic)? Make your claim and then plant a skeptic or naysayer within the paragraph (name the skeptic, consider the extension of their counterargument, then show why you believe your claim is correct)
Some would argue that closing the borders were unnecessary and lead to more xenophobia against the asain population, including asain american. I would argue that with the covid 19 outbreak travel bans were necessary, as even if they were only able to slow the spread of the virus they still allowed for the CDC and who to work towards finding a more permanent solution. By the closing of borders around the world in countries like the US were able to slow the amount of deaths and slow the speed. Italy is an example of what happened when the borders were closed too late as there were so many cases and so many deaths. As for New Zealand, they closed their borders and life very shortly went almost back to normal. Though some skeptics may argue that the other countries are far bigger than New zealand so it’s easier said than done. On that note I would like to say that pandemics are unpredictable and create fear in society so actions need to be taken, even if they don’t work out well in the end.

• Be able to integrate their ideas with those of others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources. 

I think this is where I have shown the most improvement when it comes to my writing throughout the year. I think I am able to integrate quotes into my writing nicely and add meaning and connection with them as well. I think I improved with the paraphrasing after quoting a source. I have been able to learn how to actually summarise and paraphrase after quoting as I didn’t realize that you can actually just repeat what the quote said in your own words. By doing this is also allows for you voice to be able to be incorporated into your essay nicely .

• Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling).

I always think that I need to work on my punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure. I was never really taught how to do this, I was more so just expected to do so. Whenever I write I notice that I just place commas where I think they sound good and I have no idea what to do with colons and semicolons. I have also always struggled with spelling so I rely heavily on google’s suggestive corrections. 

1. Describe your essay’s most notable strength, using at least one direct quote from your work to support your choice. 

Personally I am finding it difficult to pick out a notable strength as I definitely struggled with this essay. I think if anything a good strength within this essay would be when I add in my own voice throughout the essay. Throughout each paragraph I try to work my own voice in. At the end of my second body paragraph I write, “I can understand why it is important to focus on yourself and ensure you are in the right mindset to be taking on the emotions of others. The simplest gestures of acknowledgment and appreciation while sympathizing with others go a long way.” I think this nicely brings the topic back to my claim. 

2. Describe the differences in your revision process from Essay #1 to Essay #2. How has your revision process improved? Call attention to one place in your 2nd essay where revision helped significantly.

Revisions definitely went differently in my second essay to reform my barclay and naysayer paragraph. Since essay one didn’t have these I didn’t have to worry about reformatting my paragraph structure. Revisions helped a lot in my second essay when it came to my barclay paragraph as I did not include two different sources in the original draft. Other than that revisions through the two essays were fairly similar. 

3. Briefly analyze your integration of source material. What techniques did you use to synthesize source materials within your 2nd essay?

I used a barclay paragraph and the naysayer to integrate my source material into my essay. I tried my best to relate each outside source back to my claim about sympathy which I think I did fairly well. As well as the two required paragraph structures I also used templates from They Say I Say to transition and integrate my sources into my essay. 

4. Copy and paste your final draft’s strongest claim sentence into your post, then analyze it briefly. What makes it your strongest claim? How has your voice been integrated as part of your academic writing so far this semester?

Bloom and Wallace’s points, I can understand why it is important to focus on yourself and ensure you are in the right mindset to be taking on the emotions of others. The simplest gestures of acknowledgment and appreciation while sympathizing with others go a long way.

I believe this claim is my strongest as I use bloom and wallace’s points as well as my own voice. I am able to relate back nicely to my claim and I think it becomes a nice transition. I think through thots years I have definitely improved when adding in my own voice as I was never really allowed to in prior essays.

5. Paste then analyze your thesis statements from the first and second essay. How do they compare? Note similarities/differences. Which is stronger and why? 

Essay 1: Even though social media allows us to communicate with anyone anywhere, online connections are not equivalent to the benefits of in-person relationships, such as touch, shared real-time experience, and listening. 

Essay 2:  While empathy is crucial for understanding the feelings of others, sympathy allows you to help others and make them feel heard, without exhausting yourself. 

From reviewing my two thesis statements from my first and second essay I can automatically see some similarities and differences between them. I immediately noticed how much shorter my second thesis is compared to my first. I feel like my second thesis is able to say the same thing as my first thesis, but in a more condensed way. In this way this could mean that my second thesis is stronger than my first but I think they are fairly similar. I start out both the same by addressing a sort of counter argument and writing what I believe.

1. What are the unique challenges Cadogan faces as he walks each city (Kingston, New Orleans, and New York City)? What do we learn, indirectly, about each city from Cadogan’s personal experiences? Use a quote from the text

From these three locations Cadogan had to change the way he walked and wore. In New york city and New Orleans he has to prepare to go outside and face the world as police and passerbyers would question his every move. In New Orleans he needed to wear his college merch to show he wasn’t an imposter, and that he wasn’t up to anything suspicious.  Garnette Cadogan writes, “I’d never received what many of my African American friends call ‘The Talk’” (Cadogan 3). This is a very different conversation in my life. He had to change the way he behaved and acted and put everything behind him when questioned by police. Police would stop and question him for just looking at them funny or even waving.    

2. What rules or restrictions have you placed on your own movements–walks on campus, or around your hometown–with your own safety in mind? In what ways do you connect personally to Cadogan’s piece (be specific by naming those spots)?

As a woman I always plan ahead when walking alone at night to my car or just in general when walking around by myself. If it’s at night I make sure I am at least on the phone with someone, not to distract me but to have a witness almost. I was given pepper spray when I turned 16 and got my license. When going places I am unfamiliar to I am always very aware of my surroundings and make sure I am not distracted by my phone. It is hard for me to connect directly to his experiences as I am not a person of color and am from a very small town. I am usually never in the city as it is overwhelming and stresses me out. 

3. Describe a time when you felt unsafe while walking or traveling. What factors made you feel unsafe? How did you respond? Describe your interactions with those around you (if applicable).

I can’t pick an exact moment as I usually don’t have a reason to feel unsafe while walking. I make sure I am always walking with at least one other person I know or to be on the phone with someone in case something goes wrong. As for traveling I have been to foreign countries where I have been cat called, and where I have needed to be more aware of my surroundings as I was very unfamiliar with the location. But I was never alone. I was always either with my family or a group of people. 

4. How does Cadogan’s first-person narrative inform you about his experiences with racism in America? How does first-person impact your reactions, as a reader?

Reading this with it being a first person narrative, it feels more emotional. You can really feel how scared and hard it is for him. You almost winse when reading as he gets detained for waving at a cop. From this we get only a glimpse of the surface levels of the struggles he went through as a black man in america.

I think the second peer review was more beneficial than the last. I was able to receive some good feedback about what I did well and where I could improve. I was also able to get ideas on where I can add more to lengthen my essay. I don’t mind if someone tears apart my essay so I do feel like my peer could have been a little more critical of my essay. Either way for some reason I am almost at a loss of words when it comes to writing this paper. Nothing is coming to me while writing this so fairly soon I will be asking prof Brod to review it. I know I have a lot to improve on or I may just be being a little hard on myself. 

As for my correction to my peers’ essay I think that also went fairly well. I believe I was able to give them some good feedback and they had a great start. It definitely seemed like that had put some time into their writing which was nice to read.

 10/17

Using the handout from class, create your own Barclay style paragraph making a claim of your choosing. Label each section of your paragraph with the corresponding symbol [C] for claim, {Q1 for first quote] and so on. You might choose to use actual sources (from online or elsewhere) to support your claim, or you may choose to make up your sources (as we did in class). Have fun with it. Upload as an ePortfolio Blog Post (“Barclay Paragraph Practice”).

[C] The Honda Accord is the most reliable car out there, surpassing any other car being sold today. [I] From personal experience and known sources, one can see how a Honda Accord will never die. [Q1] According to a 2001 Honda Accord owner, Patrick Maloney, “Rhonda will never stop. She has three hundred thousands miles and has surpassed the life of another car my family has owned” (32). [E] In other words, not many cars live to see 300 thousand miles and this honda accord isn’t stopping anytime soon. It has been in his family for over 10 years and has outlasted every other vehicle his family has owned. [T] Miles can’t stop an Accord and neither can its lack of oil.[Q2] Scott Kaufman, a youtuber, has experimented with an old Accord, “I ran this car without oil for 7 minutes before it stopped. No other car has been able to go that long without oil” (87). [Ce] When it comes to an Accord, the reliability of the car and the engine itself is no match to other cars. An accord with out life any of the cars you see on the road today.